![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Posted here, now that the internet isn't going wonky...
Title: Perfectly Justified
Author: Moonsheen
Fandom: Naruto
Type: mild het
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: No, the ninja are not mine.
He almost killed her once and, even years later, he can’t say he’s ever been sorry for it.
It was perfectly justified. Given the time, given the place and he’d warned her, oh, he’d warned her. Even now, he can’t say the knowledge of what he might have done eats at him. He did what he was expected to do, and he acted coolly, all things considered. He could have done much worse. He’d hated her then. He could have done much, much worse—almost did, in the end. She pissed him off. She brought it on herself.
He has no doubt, if the jounins hadn’t stopped him, his palm would have connected. He has no doubt her heart would have stopped, the lungs would have ruptured, and she probably would have crumpled and died right there in the arena before anyone could do a thing. He probably would have felt perfectly fine with it too, would have even watched with some satisfaction, as rage siphoned out of his veins, the dimming glow of her life fading, from the inside out. Perfectly justified. She should have just stayed down when he’d given her the chance. As it was, he offered her more than he’d ever been given. Not his fault, if she decided to throw it in his face. He wasn’t sorry for it then, he’s not sorry now.
He can’t say he’s sorry she lived, though. Years later he has to admit he’s almost grateful for it. She’s more interesting alive than dead anyway, and somehow her death, while it might have avenged something, sated something, would have served little purpose and no change-- save possibly sealing his own fate. He never would have had the chance to ask her “Why?” one night, months after the fight, for the second time, and he never would have heard her answer. He probably would have died not knowing, and he would have never understood. Not about himself, or his father or about her, either. He can’t say he wholly understands her now. She’s a confusing individual, always has been, and though he claims to know her, know her habits, know her mannerisms, know her body, sometimes he suspects he might be the one who’s been figured out—-he’s not sorry for the thought, just like he’s never been sorry he sat down next to her that night, at a loss for words, and watched the fireflies flicker above, like they had when they were children a long, long time ago.
Done for the Temps Mort 'Regret' challenge. I notice there seem to be two extremes for Neji/Hinata. Either Neji is an Evil Rapist (tends to be the case in fanart and doujinshi, along with Sex Kitten Hinata which makes me boggle) or waaay too kind and considerate (the case in most fanfiction, are we reading/watching the same series here? Romance Novel Hero he is not). Of course, this is based on the few sites/fics out there--Why is there not more? Admittedly, it's easier to find than Leesaku (and it's a crime there's not enough of that--c'mon. Lee. Sakura. The squirrels demand it.) but damnit, give me my squicky hetship. Er, in any case. I try to walk the middle line with Neji. He's not a nice individual (cuddly ball of bitterness, as opposed to Sasuke's cuddly ball of haaate~) but damnit, he's NOT an Evil Bastard out to defile his Sweet Unsuspecting Cousin. And Hinata's not so keen on being defiled as, I don't know, she only has a crush on Naruto the size of Gamabunta (And we won't talk about that one doujinshi involving henge no jutsu. No, no we won't.)
Edit: ...And wow, I really shouldn't post in the mornings. The hands are on the keyboard, but the mind's somewhere else. Along with basic grammar. Ack.
Author: Moonsheen
Fandom: Naruto
Type: mild het
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: No, the ninja are not mine.
He almost killed her once and, even years later, he can’t say he’s ever been sorry for it.
It was perfectly justified. Given the time, given the place and he’d warned her, oh, he’d warned her. Even now, he can’t say the knowledge of what he might have done eats at him. He did what he was expected to do, and he acted coolly, all things considered. He could have done much worse. He’d hated her then. He could have done much, much worse—almost did, in the end. She pissed him off. She brought it on herself.
He has no doubt, if the jounins hadn’t stopped him, his palm would have connected. He has no doubt her heart would have stopped, the lungs would have ruptured, and she probably would have crumpled and died right there in the arena before anyone could do a thing. He probably would have felt perfectly fine with it too, would have even watched with some satisfaction, as rage siphoned out of his veins, the dimming glow of her life fading, from the inside out. Perfectly justified. She should have just stayed down when he’d given her the chance. As it was, he offered her more than he’d ever been given. Not his fault, if she decided to throw it in his face. He wasn’t sorry for it then, he’s not sorry now.
He can’t say he’s sorry she lived, though. Years later he has to admit he’s almost grateful for it. She’s more interesting alive than dead anyway, and somehow her death, while it might have avenged something, sated something, would have served little purpose and no change-- save possibly sealing his own fate. He never would have had the chance to ask her “Why?” one night, months after the fight, for the second time, and he never would have heard her answer. He probably would have died not knowing, and he would have never understood. Not about himself, or his father or about her, either. He can’t say he wholly understands her now. She’s a confusing individual, always has been, and though he claims to know her, know her habits, know her mannerisms, know her body, sometimes he suspects he might be the one who’s been figured out—-he’s not sorry for the thought, just like he’s never been sorry he sat down next to her that night, at a loss for words, and watched the fireflies flicker above, like they had when they were children a long, long time ago.
Done for the Temps Mort 'Regret' challenge. I notice there seem to be two extremes for Neji/Hinata. Either Neji is an Evil Rapist (tends to be the case in fanart and doujinshi, along with Sex Kitten Hinata which makes me boggle) or waaay too kind and considerate (the case in most fanfiction, are we reading/watching the same series here? Romance Novel Hero he is not). Of course, this is based on the few sites/fics out there--Why is there not more? Admittedly, it's easier to find than Leesaku (and it's a crime there's not enough of that--c'mon. Lee. Sakura. The squirrels demand it.) but damnit, give me my squicky hetship. Er, in any case. I try to walk the middle line with Neji. He's not a nice individual (cuddly ball of bitterness, as opposed to Sasuke's cuddly ball of haaate~) but damnit, he's NOT an Evil Bastard out to defile his Sweet Unsuspecting Cousin. And Hinata's not so keen on being defiled as, I don't know, she only has a crush on Naruto the size of Gamabunta (And we won't talk about that one doujinshi involving henge no jutsu. No, no we won't.)
Edit: ...And wow, I really shouldn't post in the mornings. The hands are on the keyboard, but the mind's somewhere else. Along with basic grammar. Ack.