kradeelav: Alucard, Hellsing (villainspace II)
krad ([personal profile] kradeelav) wrote2026-01-13 04:11 pm
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(crossposting from tumblr because most favorite guilty pleasure trope ever actually described accurately <3 )

Notes on Torturing The Character In The Science Facility

  • my takes on this trope rarely if ever have anything to do with the character being “special” or being studied for powers they innately have, if they are special its something that was done to them
  • it’s about the medical trauma
  • it’s about the violation and lack of bodily autonomy
  • the “living weapon” trope, but the key characteristic is catastrophic functionality
  • i love, love, love the concept of “catastrophic functionality” in a person: character that can tank ludicrous amounts of damage and just Keep Going in virtually all circumstances barring outright dismemberment. They can keep going, so do they “deserve” rest and/or pain relief?
  • after a lifetime of having their distress treated as whiny and unreasonable, they have what would be a dangerously high tolerance to pain and exhaustion.
  • another key function of the Science Facility is to fix the damage Character takes, maybe using enhanced healing technologies or 3D printed organs or something. this leads to Character’s body being treated as relatively disposable cause “we can just fix them”
  • extreme version of this: Character can’t die even if they wanted to
  • people who work with Character are informed that they’re dangerous and arbitrarily violent, and their fear of Character makes it easier to justify restricting autonomy
  • It is TRUE, cause Character does not have tools to set boundaries or protect their body other than violence. vicious cycle of being perceived as dangerous and therefore denied autonomy, and being forced to use violence to defend autonomy
  • the restraints used to hold Character look like major overkill, which underscores how dangerous they are. LOVE this trope
  • character being desexualized to the point that their non-consent to touch, to being stripped down and examined, or to procedures is trivialized. There is no non-clinical context for their body, and the “clinical” framework eclipses any possibility for bodily violation to be understood as violent.
  • types of uncanniness: Character looks human but has some subtle inhuman traits or characteristics. (I’m obsessed with reflective eye shine, personally.) OR Character looks like they’ve been taken apart and put back together, like flesh pulled over a much more unforgiving and indestructible metal scaffold. OR Character gives off “undead” vibes; they’re just not quite alive in a way that sets off air raid sirens in people’s brains
  • Often, Character is dead and Came Back Wrong (varying levels of literalness)

anyways yeah. i never stopped writing this trope and probably never will. it’s a good one



kradeelav: Dr. Kiriko (amused)
krad ([personal profile] kradeelav) wrote2026-01-12 07:37 pm
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i love tumblr so much because i found a blog that's just posting matt mercer screenshots and the single line of context is as 'references to draw for a cartoon character' and i'm like 99% sure they're being genuinely honest and not a weird stalker fan (it's only official critrole session shots and not uhh, candid convention shots which you see a lot in fan run accounts and feels so gross and privacy invasive to me.)

same mental illness lmao <3 handshake. god bless thank you for being exactly what i needed anon, and not a single millimeter more <3 i literally don't care about the guy (no offense) it's just PERFECT REFERENCE.
kradeelav: Dr. Kiriko (amused)
krad ([personal profile] kradeelav) wrote2026-01-10 07:56 pm
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(no subject)

there's a half written essay in my mind that i feel like """accessibility"" has been a trojan horse for 'increasing engagement' by less discerning types who are not plugged into what strict slices of disabled people need and who use it as a way to shoehorn in ways of 'we need Moar users' without asking whether or not those users are actually wanted. (because true accessibility-for-disabled-folks is hard to implement properly on a larger scale and requires focus testing groups, money, and time.)

and the third leg to all of this is that friction is desired to keep online places healthy which is a hard pill to swallow for said accessibility/(growth)-first people (all of my favorite places to actually talk with nuance have some comparatively extreme roadblocks to keep the bad actors & spammers out; invite-only servers, hand-coding personal sites & talking only over emails, dreamwidth due to its nature of being text heavy and hardcore privacy filters...)

i'd probably title this essay 'effort is not the enemy'

idk i saw a discussion on the indie web that word for word was 'we need more accessibility' and i'm over here violently shaking my head no which is an irony considering how many levels of 'visibly disabled' i am, lol.

like i really don't think the effort needed to create a personal site as it stands is a bad thing. there's plenty of education out there for those who want it, way more than in the 00's. and it being a thing you pay for a nominal amount probably helps keeps the spam & bad actors lower than it would be otherwise. and at some point you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

kradeelav: (Masks)
krad ([personal profile] kradeelav) wrote2026-01-10 01:49 pm

january link roundup, art & images edition

* i'm on a backgrounds/architecture kick, and yoshida seji is known for some fantastic artbooks on the topic. what i didn't know is he has a lovely free-to-see collection of video redlining/"corrections" while he corrects artwork submitted by other people. enormously helpful to see what he thinks are some common beginner's mistakes with backgrounds.

*  given a mix of events & twitter, it felt prurient to post this guide to handling traumatizing video/images. (the person who wrote this is dreamwidth's founder and one of the most respected T&S leaders around.)

* ellen ullman wrote this lovely 'i'm getting off of windows and onto linux' paeon in 1998, and it felt strikingly evergreen given how many people are jumping ship right now from win11. warms the cockles of my machine heart but also some food for thought.

* posted in my doujin circle, "Gen Z Puritanism, Millennial Cultural Decadence, and Why We All Fucking Suck" was an interesting article. my candid reaction I posted in the server below: 

> krad: imo i would kinda quibble with millennial = excess (don't really remember a whole lot of excess in my circles and i didn't have it bad....), but in its place, i would say millennial=> escapism. the metaphor still works for the most part, but escaping thru to online life, video games, and then for those who did have excess, escaping through that.
>> "You cannot build cultures that reward endurance, exposure, and ideological flexibility and then act shocked when the next generation wants armor."
> krad: I actually agree with this line with the escapism online bit, especially.
> krad: i know my generation loves to say they were fine with unfettered internet and i uh, still.... partially agree with that. because a lot of us were older when we first got on  (generally at least early teens at absolute earliest, if not mid/late teens)
> krad: but the actual people who were five years old getting on... it is different.


* brief discussion of historical milfetish art below the cut for the last link )
kradeelav: (leather)
krad ([personal profile] kradeelav) wrote2026-01-09 08:03 pm
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(crossposting over here from my fe tumblr because it's interesting to consider.) 

> for someone who has historically had zero problem drawing pretty hardcore dead dove (incest, rape, kinks like watersports, etc), nudity plus emotional eros is something i'm kinda chickenshit at drawing....

i think i'm known as somebody who draws erotic clothed sex/intimacy well (it's been said before) so it's not exactly a puritanical thing, (i think?), and it's not strictly the intimacy side that i'm gun-shy at....

when i think about it, a simple nude body is also Fine. but it's full frontal nude (specifically aroused genitalia) plus personal emotional eros/attraction that .... the idea of it feels nice to draw, but it's way way too painfully vulnerable to show, haha.

#even my gunter/corrin hentai i shied around it more often than i'd like (by far the hardest panels to draw were the full body + bits)  #where you couldn't just abstract a wholeass panel as uh. Biggus Dick.  #funnily enough gunter is like the ONE character that breaks this rule consistently. freak ass dude (lovingly).  #i have a theory it's because i associate gunter with the ship more (gunter/corrin) versus audience-and-character.  #it's such a weird specific black hole of a mental roadblock when i'm Fine with everything *around it*  #and other artists seemingly don't have said mental roadblock. belatedly realizing i use kink as a way to cheat around this too.  #idk! thinking about this as i attempt a thing. hold my beer.
kradeelav: Zihark, FE10 (fe)
krad ([personal profile] kradeelav) wrote2026-01-08 07:17 pm
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meta: tellius travel times

!! this post is a wip (specifically the images) for about a week until i finish the resource deck; i will update the images and delete this line when the final version is up !!

 
In my "Tellius Environments" resource i've created (link to be coming when it's uploaded), I've added a travel time page.

This whole resource is for fan-creatives where determining the travel time is useful ("how far is it from Melior to Nevassa on pegasus versus on foot".). This specific post covers in detail how I calculated the distances that the characters and unit types (pegasus, beorc, bird/beast laguz, etc) take to get from point A to point B, along with some Tellius specific meta.



Read more... )
kradeelav: McLeach, Rescuers Down Under (heh)
krad ([personal profile] kradeelav) wrote2026-01-07 09:39 am
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(no subject)


I WAS RIGHT )


anyway in non-work news, january's shaping up to be basically cleaning up everything from last year; two comic projects, dealing with the aftermath of grandmother passing away now mom's been stable for a while, this giant 'fe tellius backgrounds project' that's going to be incredibly useful for fan creatives (also selfishly for me to focus on upcoming tellius-related doujin).

i plan to Relax a bit in the second half of january after that ;orz

in cool news: dad's also designing the new house and last night showed me what the plan was for my suite/office :3  i get to have a swanky contemporary office!!! with a big window!! and a closed door!!!!!!!! and a separate kitchenette i can use!!! won't be long ~
kradeelav: Dr. Kiriko (amused)
krad ([personal profile] kradeelav) wrote2026-01-06 01:47 pm
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(no subject)

one of the funny things about working in my industry is: 

* for context, it's highly regulated + the consumers are sue-trigger-happy, so the more mature corporations tend to have beefier legal departments.

* these days, consumers post videos/images of themselves showing off [$product]. this is on average a good thing, imo, if they're genuinely happy with the product/company in an uncoerced way. while there are a lot of paid influencers, there's also a lot of times this happens organically due to [$industry] and the corporations are usually happy to repost those. organic promotion for us, free views for them, win/win for #capitalism baybee.

EXCEPT

* the hilariously often amount of times the consumers don't use [$product] in the extremely narrowly-defined-way-product-integrity/legal likes.

so as soon as the social media team reposts something even mildly off script we joke we can hear legal wailing and gnashing their teeth from over here, for something as mild as [consumer puts product on a non-approved surface for literally .5 of a second] XD
kradeelav: Mordecai, FE9 (sleepyboi)
krad ([personal profile] kradeelav) wrote2026-01-02 09:55 pm
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genuinely getting emotional about the internet because i can be hanging out in this ex /k/ defense shitposting server one day and get a massive amazing book/documentary recommendation list about iran's history from a dude living there (he's been giving us updates about stuff there), after a chat with him led us both that ways.

and, just. man.

i know the internet's horribly broken these days, but....

....this!!! this is what i always loved about it. god.

slipping into another (irreverent) world, talking with folks who have no idea a thirty-something hag graphic designer is on the other side and who frankly doesn't care about who's on the other side, just that the thirst for authentic curiosity is there.

kradeelav: Dr. Kiriko (amused)
krad ([personal profile] kradeelav) wrote2026-01-02 01:05 pm
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(no subject)

the most swole cardinal i've ever seen in my life (this mf is the size of a small chicken) is one territorial bastard and keeps attacking the glass which sounds distantly like the electrical power fluctuating so i have to keep getting up to scare him away lol

i ain't even mad

(downsides to a mostly glass house: this)