moonsheen: (.... that was hot)
[personal profile] moonsheen
Hey there I just beat Bayonetta, a game about witches guns and... and I'm sorry what was I talking about again? Anyway I wrote something short and mighty stupid. Set post-game.... I think. Maybe. No spoilers.

I don't know this might wind up being a theme.





"Hell-o," said Luka, grinning as he popped his phone out of his coat "Glad I've got service! So how's the best looking lady in all of Milano-"

Her leg hooked him at the knee. Luka stumbled, flailing fruitlessly. The witch separated herself from the empty air, catching the phone before it hit the ground. She flicked aside a few strands of her formidable hair and tucked it to her ear.

"Hullo!" she sang, twisting to block Luka's counterattack. He froze in a mad grab for the phone. He was now making a mad grab for something else. He wavered in place, torn in his course of action, and cursing her for knowing his weakness

"Are you one of the others?" asked Bayonetta and, before the person on the other end could say a word, continued with: "I see! Well! I'm sorry but you'll have to call him back. He's about to be ridden to the ends of the earth and unless you are a rampant sex goddess I'm afraid he just can't come to the phone right now. Ta!" She clicked it shut with a sharp flick of her wrist

Luka gaped, whiter than normal. "That..."

Bayonetta smirked. "'It's not what you think?'"

"That was my Mom," said Luka.

"Oh," said Bayonetta. It was definitely not what she thought. Luka made a faint wheezing noise. He held out his hand. She put the phone in it.

"Well," she said, offering a conciliatory pat, "At least she knows you're well cared for."

"To say the fucking least."

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulchu.livejournal.com
That was beautiful.

Man I need to play this game SO BAD.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 12:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lacunarity.livejournal.com
Beautiful

And I love the idea of Luka having an affectionate and emotionally normal relationship with his mom, despite all his dad-related issues.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 03:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonsheen.livejournal.com
See my fanon is that his mom had the sense to divorce Daddy Redgrave very early on, seeing as dad was a bit NUTTY AND OBSESSED WITH VERY DANGEROUS SHIT and after dad kicked it (THINKING IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO TAKE KIDS ON THOSE SORTS OF EXHIBITIONS WHY?!) she raised him and he had a surprisingly well-balanced upbringing! ....and he is a total mama's boy who would wear every single awful knitted thing she ever gave him. Except that stuff probably all came from his dad.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 12:25 am (UTC)
ext_73923: (Default)
From: [identity profile] amei.livejournal.com
BRILLIANT.

This is totally how it happened.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 12:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ningen-demonai.livejournal.com
... Yeah, I need to play this game right now.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 05:27 am (UTC)
vitani: (She learned her hands in a fairy-tale)
From: [personal profile] vitani
I WANTED TO COMMENT ON THIS AT WORK BUT MY PHONE WOULDN'T LET ME

I love them and I love the hilarity that is Luka's life. This is perfect. And now I want to write my stupid parents!fic.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] worldwalkerpure.livejournal.com
This is just making me want to buy the game more.

PLEASE STOP MAKING ME WANT THIS GAME I AM POOR AND HAVE NO MONIES.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-04 10:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fate-of-soul.livejournal.com
OMG that was Great!!!!! I love it! Poor Luka...

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