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moonsheenOver the course of my time there:
-A woman came in with a skirt made of neckties. Just. Neckties, all strung together to make a skirt. She had leggings on underneath, thank god.
-Been asked for the Mona Lisa
-Been asked for the Sistine Chapel
-Been asked where the dinosaurs are
-Been asked where the animals are
-Been asked for “The Bitch With The Pitcher” (Vermeer’s “Woman with a Water Pitcher,” by the way)
-Been asked for “The Girl With The Pearl Earring”
-Been asked for the Mona Lisa
-Got bored and learned the name of every single one of the Buddhas
-Got bored and learned the name of five Chinese dynasties (long day in Asian Art)
-Chilled in the Buddha room
-Watched someone escorted out for trying to take a nude photo in the Arms and Armor section
-Been asked for the Michelangelo’s, then the Raphael’s, then the Leonardo’s, then the Donatello’s (they were naming ninja turtles)
-Heard curator in Musical Instrument section play Night On Bald Mountain on giant historical pipe organ while laughing maniacally.
-Fielded a day when a filthy counterfit version of the museum program was disseminated among visitors, guiding them to the filthiest art in the museum – such as the painting of Cupid peeing on Venus
-guarded Cupid peeing on Venus
-Been asked for the Mona Lisa
-Been asked if I had seen the First Lady of Mexico (she had gone missing)
-Been asked for that one sculpture of Kronos that is featured in Percy Jackson WHICH DOESN’T EXIST GUYS (directed children to sculptures of Poseidon with trident instead, children were very happy)
-Witnessed two Secret Service Agents get into a swordfight with pieces of packing material.
-been asked by a very polite Fransiscan monk in full brown robes if he had found ‘One of us. He has gone missing.”
-Found missing monk and returned him to the herd
-Coworker was asked for the Ark of the Conveant
-Same coworker was asked for the Baseball Hall of Fame
-stopped about 15,000 people from poking that one lion statue in the nuts
-saw a woman in a banana suit with banana shoes take a picture in front of an Egyptian temple
-Been asked for the Mona Lisas (plural)
As of 12/5/18:
Other stories:
- had a conversation with a very disoriented Turkish curator. Between her limited English and my more limited Turkish, we bonded over reality TV and how rude the older visitors were. "In my country, old people STAY HOME," she said, very vehemently.
-Watched the President of Austria admire the chair he'd donated to an exhibition
-somehow managed to not be sick after staying in a Francis Bacon exhibition all day.
-Discovered one of the rooms in Asian Art was actually a hidden elevator to a third floor gallery
-Watched three women in full victorian gowns stroll through Egyptian Art.
- been asked for the Mona Lisa.
-was asked, by a European visitor, "Was this building once a palace or was it built for the museum?" Extremely reasonable question in Europe, but this was the US, so no.
-watched a co-worker take a shot glass away from Bruce Willis
-watched two visitors pick another visitor up in an attempt to look like a giant balloon dog.
-had a coworker confiscate someone's dildos
-listened to an impromptu violin performance as played on a Stradivarius violin
- spent a lot of time staring at Naked Violin Guy.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-12-05 06:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2018-12-05 03:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2018-12-05 04:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2018-12-05 04:11 pm (UTC)I want to believe that in the process of preparing to take the nude photo, the artist simply flexed and all their clothing tumbled to the ground.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-12-05 02:41 pm (UTC)