spank that new years baby

[moonsheen]

Ah, guess I'm a day late for the BIG UNMASKING? Oh well. HARK! TIS I who wrote yuletide story Gerda and the Snow Queen for ave_eva. Which is rough in places that still make me wince, but overall I'm pretty happy with how it turned out and glad that my recipient enjoyed. ♥

Meanwhile, because my f-list is doing it and I wanna be one of the cool kids: New Years Request Meme. Standard flavor this time. You know how this goes: name a fandom/pairing/characters and I write you a story of dubious drabble status to the best of my ability provided said request does not destroy my brain.

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Re: HI STILL DON'T HAVE INTERNET

[moonsheen.livejournal.com]

And here, gentle readers, we find ourselves at an impasse. At which our hero must make a decision, and one of great weight, which ought to be important to the narrative thus far but knowing as well as we do who were are dealing with—

“I WILL CRY RAVISHMENT.”

“Try it.”

--that will likely not be the case at all. So, here: Felix Lowe found himself thrown down across the bed in an inn called ‘The Merry Peacock’, the monk’s hand fastened tightly into his shirtfront. His attempt at escape against such an assault was a valiant one, for him anyway, but it was the effort of the feather seeking to tickle the rhinoceros. Jolanka was unmoved, and for his troubles Felix would likely find bruises on his fair, bony chest by nightfall.

“Are we done?” asked Jolanka.

“Hm. Maybe. Perhaps—you know what no,” said Felix, with customary cooperation, opening his mouth wide and inhaling deeply, intending a bloodcurdling shriek and having the practice to achieve it.

“Do really wish to do that when we are holding a razor next to your throat.”

She tipped her head, indicating Madison, who stood ready with the bowl, the towels, the shears, the soap, and indeed the razor glittering like moonlight in the poorly lit room they had chosen for its cheap obscurity.

Felix closed his mouth. Greater powers were at work here. The sort that looked like sharp objects positioned in awkward places. “You know,” he said, sullenly. “This counts as a threat upon my life.”

“Well, good thing that you are used to those by now!” said Madison, with a cheerful menace as she leaned over him. She was, possibly, not the best of choices for this task: she smelled very strongly of a nearby tavern’s finest. “And think of it as a better fate than the one you might otherwise get, if we go to see the Princess with you resembling a drowned rat--”

“I’ve eaten drowned rats. I have no prejudices—NK.”

Ever the tender one, Jolanka pressed a pinky against the underside of his scruffy jaw, and shut his mouth for him.