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moonsheen369. Dumb to end all dumb. (inspired by the omake, where Hisagi has Personality. And it is Glorious.)
“Look, dumbass.”
“Hisagi-sempai, I really think…”
Shuuhei lifted his head from the table, pointing lazily. “Interested in Kuchiki.” He pointed again. “Not interested in women. I’m not taking advice from you people about this.”
“Die,” said Renji.
“…there’s nothing wrong with my advice,” said Izuru.
“Anyway,” Shuuhei pounded his hand back onto the table, “I don’t see a problem with goin’ for it! …anymore sake?”
Izuru slid it away. “No.”
“‘Don’t see a problem,'” growled Renji.
Shuuhei glared. “What. Do you?”
“Kiiinda, yeah--”
“She’s smart.”
“That’s not the first thing you look for, Hisagi-sempai,” murmured Izuru, sorely.
“She’s a Vice-Captain!”
“Kira's a Vice-Captain.”
“Kuchiki’s a Vice-Captain.”
“Yeah well, she’s also a goddamn--”
“Abarai-kun, please don’t call her that.”
Renji kicked Izuru in the shin, narrowing his eyes. “Anyway yeah? So?”
“…she’s uh, not bad to look at…”
Renji quirked a brow. “‘Not bad.’”
“...ok she’s hot. What the hell! She’s hot, she’s friendly, no really have you guys even tried talking to her? …well, ok Kira never talks to women--”
“I talk to women.”
“...No, really! There’s stuff to talk about! A lot of stuff! And I mean, sure she’s got family she’s real devoted to but, hey, I’m not going to be stupid enough to go and ask to get myself mauled by ‘em--”
He ducked the required kick in the head that one earned. “So really! Not seeing the problem!”
Renji stared. “You’re desperate.”
Izuru goggled. “You’re absolutely insane.”
“Maybe. But the way I see it.” Another determined thunk on the table. “I’ve got a shot with Nemu-chan.”
There was, here, the obligatory long, long pause.
“Nemu-chan drugs you off your ass and experiments on you.”
“And when,” Shuuhei looked up miserably, “Was the last time someone invited you back to their quarters?”
Izuru and Renji looked at each other.
“...are we going to have to…”
“I’m gettin’ the rope.”
And so it was done.
“Look, dumbass.”
“Hisagi-sempai, I really think…”
Shuuhei lifted his head from the table, pointing lazily. “Interested in Kuchiki.” He pointed again. “Not interested in women. I’m not taking advice from you people about this.”
“Die,” said Renji.
“…there’s nothing wrong with my advice,” said Izuru.
“Anyway,” Shuuhei pounded his hand back onto the table, “I don’t see a problem with goin’ for it! …anymore sake?”
Izuru slid it away. “No.”
“‘Don’t see a problem,'” growled Renji.
Shuuhei glared. “What. Do you?”
“Kiiinda, yeah--”
“She’s smart.”
“That’s not the first thing you look for, Hisagi-sempai,” murmured Izuru, sorely.
“She’s a Vice-Captain!”
“Kira's a Vice-Captain.”
“Kuchiki’s a Vice-Captain.”
“Yeah well, she’s also a goddamn--”
“Abarai-kun, please don’t call her that.”
Renji kicked Izuru in the shin, narrowing his eyes. “Anyway yeah? So?”
“…she’s uh, not bad to look at…”
Renji quirked a brow. “‘Not bad.’”
“...ok she’s hot. What the hell! She’s hot, she’s friendly, no really have you guys even tried talking to her? …well, ok Kira never talks to women--”
“I talk to women.”
“...No, really! There’s stuff to talk about! A lot of stuff! And I mean, sure she’s got family she’s real devoted to but, hey, I’m not going to be stupid enough to go and ask to get myself mauled by ‘em--”
He ducked the required kick in the head that one earned. “So really! Not seeing the problem!”
Renji stared. “You’re desperate.”
Izuru goggled. “You’re absolutely insane.”
“Maybe. But the way I see it.” Another determined thunk on the table. “I’ve got a shot with Nemu-chan.”
There was, here, the obligatory long, long pause.
“Nemu-chan drugs you off your ass and experiments on you.”
“And when,” Shuuhei looked up miserably, “Was the last time someone invited you back to their quarters?”
Izuru and Renji looked at each other.
“...are we going to have to…”
“I’m gettin’ the rope.”
And so it was done.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-10-12 07:05 pm (UTC)You geeked out over the omake Shuuhei!personality smidget, too? He's such a geek.
Honestly a bit confused over the 'Kuchiki's a vice captian' line there, though. Was that a mistake, is this set in a weird timeframe, or did something just totally go over my head? >_o
(no subject)
Date: 2005-10-12 08:06 pm (UTC)And ah, no, the Kuchiki line is just me being a 'tard and a Rukia fangirl and kind of going on my stubborn as hell conviction that she was the interim Vice-Captain after Kaien died. It's getting less and less likely but until canon tells me different damnit.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-10-12 09:42 pm (UTC)THE GIRL FACED DOWN HOLLOWS WITHOUT HER POWERS DAMMIT SHE MUST HAVE BEEN AWESOME WHEN SHE HAD THEM.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-10-12 09:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-10-12 07:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-10-12 09:45 pm (UTC)That aside, this is awesome.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-10-13 04:02 am (UTC)x a lot.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-10-13 11:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-10-20 12:38 am (UTC)But seriously, can no man in Soul Society properly get himself a woman? XD
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 02:02 am (UTC)And, by the by, is there any chance you could point me to a translation of the omake featuring our dork!Shuuhei? I've found the scans ala