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moonsheen369. Dumb to end all dumb. (inspired by the omake, where Hisagi has Personality. And it is Glorious.)
“Look, dumbass.”
“Hisagi-sempai, I really think…”
Shuuhei lifted his head from the table, pointing lazily. “Interested in Kuchiki.” He pointed again. “Not interested in women. I’m not taking advice from you people about this.”
“Die,” said Renji.
“…there’s nothing wrong with my advice,” said Izuru.
“Anyway,” Shuuhei pounded his hand back onto the table, “I don’t see a problem with goin’ for it! …anymore sake?”
Izuru slid it away. “No.”
“‘Don’t see a problem,'” growled Renji.
Shuuhei glared. “What. Do you?”
“Kiiinda, yeah--”
“She’s smart.”
“That’s not the first thing you look for, Hisagi-sempai,” murmured Izuru, sorely.
“She’s a Vice-Captain!”
“Kira's a Vice-Captain.”
“Kuchiki’s a Vice-Captain.”
“Yeah well, she’s also a goddamn--”
“Abarai-kun, please don’t call her that.”
Renji kicked Izuru in the shin, narrowing his eyes. “Anyway yeah? So?”
“…she’s uh, not bad to look at…”
Renji quirked a brow. “‘Not bad.’”
“...ok she’s hot. What the hell! She’s hot, she’s friendly, no really have you guys even tried talking to her? …well, ok Kira never talks to women--”
“I talk to women.”
“...No, really! There’s stuff to talk about! A lot of stuff! And I mean, sure she’s got family she’s real devoted to but, hey, I’m not going to be stupid enough to go and ask to get myself mauled by ‘em--”
He ducked the required kick in the head that one earned. “So really! Not seeing the problem!”
Renji stared. “You’re desperate.”
Izuru goggled. “You’re absolutely insane.”
“Maybe. But the way I see it.” Another determined thunk on the table. “I’ve got a shot with Nemu-chan.”
There was, here, the obligatory long, long pause.
“Nemu-chan drugs you off your ass and experiments on you.”
“And when,” Shuuhei looked up miserably, “Was the last time someone invited you back to their quarters?”
Izuru and Renji looked at each other.
“...are we going to have to…”
“I’m gettin’ the rope.”
And so it was done.
“Look, dumbass.”
“Hisagi-sempai, I really think…”
Shuuhei lifted his head from the table, pointing lazily. “Interested in Kuchiki.” He pointed again. “Not interested in women. I’m not taking advice from you people about this.”
“Die,” said Renji.
“…there’s nothing wrong with my advice,” said Izuru.
“Anyway,” Shuuhei pounded his hand back onto the table, “I don’t see a problem with goin’ for it! …anymore sake?”
Izuru slid it away. “No.”
“‘Don’t see a problem,'” growled Renji.
Shuuhei glared. “What. Do you?”
“Kiiinda, yeah--”
“She’s smart.”
“That’s not the first thing you look for, Hisagi-sempai,” murmured Izuru, sorely.
“She’s a Vice-Captain!”
“Kira's a Vice-Captain.”
“Kuchiki’s a Vice-Captain.”
“Yeah well, she’s also a goddamn--”
“Abarai-kun, please don’t call her that.”
Renji kicked Izuru in the shin, narrowing his eyes. “Anyway yeah? So?”
“…she’s uh, not bad to look at…”
Renji quirked a brow. “‘Not bad.’”
“...ok she’s hot. What the hell! She’s hot, she’s friendly, no really have you guys even tried talking to her? …well, ok Kira never talks to women--”
“I talk to women.”
“...No, really! There’s stuff to talk about! A lot of stuff! And I mean, sure she’s got family she’s real devoted to but, hey, I’m not going to be stupid enough to go and ask to get myself mauled by ‘em--”
He ducked the required kick in the head that one earned. “So really! Not seeing the problem!”
Renji stared. “You’re desperate.”
Izuru goggled. “You’re absolutely insane.”
“Maybe. But the way I see it.” Another determined thunk on the table. “I’ve got a shot with Nemu-chan.”
There was, here, the obligatory long, long pause.
“Nemu-chan drugs you off your ass and experiments on you.”
“And when,” Shuuhei looked up miserably, “Was the last time someone invited you back to their quarters?”
Izuru and Renji looked at each other.
“...are we going to have to…”
“I’m gettin’ the rope.”
And so it was done.
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Date: 2005-10-12 09:45 pm (UTC)